So apparently, Venus is challenging my love life right now. Putting me in difficult decisions making and intense situations. But that’s if I based my beliefs on my Co-star. It also suggested that I’ll have to choose between this desire and my romantic or creative life. Since ‘Every artist is inspired by the depths of their unconscious’, I decide that I will turn these struggles into the sublime by writing about love today. Not to vent about my personal life, but so we could explore together some nuances of this wide concept we all believe to know so well.
Last night I was home alone. If you don’t know me, I have to precise that I’m a pretty nostalgic person, and in those moments of solitude I like to fill the void of my loneliness by travelling in some of my past relationships. I just let my imagination run free, portraying multiple scenarios where I’m having conversation with some of my exes and old friends in our current situations. It can be fun. At least creative- this is the moment I beg you to not judge me, I’m not that miserable. Until I reach this part of the void that I’m always fighting to stave off. The missing void. Where instead of having fun with and by playing pretend, you lose sense of control and your heart and feeling get involved. And you tell yourself that maybe you actually miss your ex. That maybe you should just text them. That you just want to be honest with yourself. Spoiler. This is one of the worst ideas. Because in that particular situation, you are nothing but led by your emotions. Not saying that it is a bad thing, but I would just recommend giving yourself the time to sleep on it. So that’s what I did last night. I told myself this thing of not believing any thoughts after 10pm or something ? and i went to sleep.
All for waking up this morning and to have Co-star telling me that I’m being challenged in my love life. No shit ?!
My point here, or the idea/question I wanted to reflect on with you is, how hard it can be to not succumb to desire. How fragile some boundaries are and how tempting it can be to actually cross them. With consent !
I think I hate how rational we can be about something so natural and uncontrollable as feelings. Like, I’m part of the team of people that would tell you ‘If you like someone, why would you hide it ?’
Maybe we mostly bottle up our emotions principally by fear of judgment and rejection. We are always so afraid to be hurt. Which is actually a false excuse to me. You’re still hurting yourself by staying in your corner, too scared of the truth. I mean, once you have confessed, sure there are different possible outcomes, but at least you will move on with clarifications, however it goes. Best case scenario, you may in fact have opened the door to someone who was not even daring to knock.
Sometimes it is also comforting to give your trust to time. Being patient with love will give you the best rewards in my opinion.
It’s good and inevitable to remember that it is not all about you. I personally tend to be forthright when I’m attracted to someone. I get so thrilled by my emotions and desire that it can make me forget that someone else’s feelings can’t be controlled. If I may say, rejection gets a little more ‘swallowable’ when you keep that thought in mind.
It is pretty easy to get carried away by your emotions. It is important to express them, to put words on them, it makes them more concrete and so much easier to treat, carry, deal with… There’s nothing wrong about expressing desire and attraction, love is love, you’ll just have to keep in mind to not take it personally. What one thinks and feels has nothing to do with anyone but them. You could try anything, but if in their mind, they’re settled in the idea that nothing will happen between you two, then there are high chances that you’ll have to keep your frustration to yourself.
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